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August 08 40 is LoomingOK, I admit it, I am not turning 29 again. I am turning FORTY. I really thought I would have my life more together at this point, but certain things seem to have gotten in my way.
To have a party or not? For a while I thought I would, it is FORTY after all. Now it just seems too late to plan anything. Is three weeks too little time to plan? July 24 Sell or not to sell?I am going back and forth about whether to *attempt* to sell the house.
On one hand it is a maintenance disaster with only me and the three kids; I should spend all my time doing house/yard work to keep it well maintaned. As it is I just do the urgent tasks, and if lucky the kids will helpful and things actually get done. It is getting better since we all moved upstairs. The house is actually decent most of time.
Some of the neighbors don't like me because of the way I left my husband. They obviously don't know the whole story as to why I left in, and I am not going to tell them. They just saw the aftermath and how devestated he was.
Looking at rentals in the School district, I will not save anything in monthly payments by selling. The only advantage is that I can pay off some bills. Bills are killing me, in addition to summer daycare costing more then my orginal estimate, K's health issues have us completly out of benefits for her until Jan, so I am paying hundreds of dollars a month.
Maybe renting out the downstairs is an option. The washer and dryer are down there, but if i could rent to another responsible single mom that could work out well.
My experiences in the past 3 years have left me a bit skeptical about whether or not I could trust anyone.
~ D ~ July 21 FlitteringHow can you focus on one thing when there are so many things that need attention. My mind flitters need to fix holes in wall if I decide to sell house, did I cover security adequately in my test plan, how to find tools for the new feature, those people have no idea how to ship, there were a couple more in there that I forgot already. Stress puts my mind in hyper drive. I juggle it all and the immediate things get done
I really need a tiiny post it note set with lines, and different colors with a book to organize them. It does not have to be so organized that the catagorizes are anything other then "work" " high pri work" "not work" "high pri not work". it has to be compact and have a small pen that never gets lost.
At least then i would be sane. Now it all flitters over and over "new page needs...","i need to tell my sister..." "such in such is stressed about this I should refer them too....", k needs another blood test...", 'forot to tell mom..", "need better male role models for the kids", "will the neighbors really complain if my dog gets out next time", etc etc
~ d July 17 Haunted
Ghosts or Demons? My two oldest have been afraid of ghosts or demons lately. Nightmares. Several debates have been had by them about whether they are ghosts or demons, and the difference between the two. I think they are the same. I think we are haunted by the past, things that have happened that the kids don’t understand. The ghosts and demons keep us awake and haunted. They aren’t real ghosts of course, but ghosts all the same. An escalation in these fears and not being able to sleep has been followed by the news that my ex and his girlfriend have split for the same reasons I left him. My ghosts and demons aren’t related to guilt for once. Who listens to warnings when the prince appears to be a prince and not a toad? ~ d July 10 Fear of slugsSlugs *shudder* are slimy, alien looking creatures that leave gunk over everything.
If the slime itself was not gross enough, it is impossible to get off fingers. I bet there is a market for slug slime removal.
Their antenna are even slimy.
!! YUCK !!
For those of you who have laughed at my slug phobia for years, check out this article about Killer UK Slugs. They better not be coming here!
I may revert back to my slug related childhood nightmares!
~ D July 02 Thanks for LunchTwo great things happened this week! 1) K's meds started working, I don't have a battle every single day 2) L took me too lunch and we caught up (thanks for lunch in case I forgot) Actually, now that i think about it... lots of good things happened this week 3) D ~ one of my best friends from college ~ had a birthday party at the zoo (no, I won't tell her age) 4) I went to my moms house and got to see my sister, uncle, and met my nephews Bride (they are getting married next week) 5) I had not one but two coffee drinks today (ok one was a store bought frap, but hey i am being positive) 6) I touched base with several other relatives through im/facebook 7) Met someone in person who i have been chatting with in mail Phew! What a busy week. ;) ~ D ~ March 28 Medicine woesB (11) and K (10) have had some serious issues to deal with in the past. I am finally working with a medical professional who seems to understand how much of a struggle it is for me and the kids. We are experimenting with different treatments for both kids. Essential both kids have some form of ADD or ADHD, but with both of them it is not all that is going on. With B the concern is that he also has a touch of Aspergar's, the belief is that it is neurological. K recently started meds for ADHD; in the past when we have had her tested the doctors were sure it was not an issue. However, the new doctor decided we should try a med trial. We did and at the second set her teachers noticed a good deal of improvement in her at school. The improvement was so significant that they strongly encouraged me to continue it. The second issue we are struggling with K is that she has very little control over her emotions or actions. She gets into a mean/defiant mode and even though she recognizes it, she can't control it. It seems to be anger, lashing out, guilt, then an tears and recriminations. She is telling me now that she can't go to school without taking her meds, because her teacher will send her home. I sent her off to school and sent an e-mail to her teacher. Can the school send her home for that? If the do, what are they teaching her? How do I handle when she refuses to do something with out one of us coming away mentally or physically bruised? ~ D ~ February 07 Talking about Baby found alive in field after tornado - Life- msnbc.comNice to find something hopefull and miraculous in the news. It does not mention if the baby has other relatives to take care of it. Hopefully there will be some follow up. Quote Baby found alive in field after tornado - Life- msnbc.com November 30 Talking about Sudan...Just when I think the world can't get any more insane, a women is convicted of naming a teddy bear and insulting the muslim community. She gets 15 days in jail, and expelled from the country. That is not the end of the insanity, now there is a huge protest in Sudan that she should be executed. Quote
Note to self: Visting Sudan would probably not be a good idea. I might find myself in jail after cracking a joke. ~ d ~ November 29 Customer Service A+'sMy diet is going really well. As of this morning 9 lbs, fully clothed :) I don't usually weigh myself fully clothed, so I anticipate that tomorrows weigh in will be a little better. I love these chocolate caramel bars. I made my 2nd order to Weight Watchers site a couple weeks ago. To my surprise it took forever to get here, the first shipment was FAST! I investigated and found out it was delivered over a week ago to my front porch! Another package was also late, so I took a look at the tracking site. It too was left on my front porch. I reported both packages missing, and most likely stolen (the news has been reporting that deliveries on doorsteps have been stolen lately). The other package was through LaToys Etcetera on Amazon. In case you are curious I ordered the Playmobil Princess Advent Calendar. I called the companies, and both of them are sending me replacements for free. I did not expect that, it certainly was not there fault my packages were stolen. A+++++ for them ~ d~ November 13 So far, so good...I have been dieting for 5 days now. I am only supposed to weigh myself once a week, but I cheated this morning :) Almost 5 lbs! I could easily fit into pants that were a struggle two weeks ago!! So far it has been easy to stick too. The whole point system is working for me, mostly because so many foods come pre-pointed. Yes for now I am eating a lot of frozen foods, but as my point count goes up as I lose more weight I am hoping that I can eat what I make for the kids more often. There are three brand names in the stores I have found that list WW pt's - Smart ones, Lean Cuisine (LC) and Healthy Choices (HC). I have not seen Smart Ones on sale, so have not bought any yet. So what have I been eating? Some of my favorites: Chicken Club Panini - http://www.leancuisine.com/Products/Details.aspx?ProductID=10620 Cheese Lasagna with Chicken Scaloppini - http://www.leancuisine.com/Products/Details.aspx?ProductID=11 Four cheese manicotti (yuck on the dessert!): I defiantly like LC's Panini better then HC's so far.
~ d ~ November 10 What Marathon Mom Debate?Paula Radcliffe won the women's title in the New York Marathon nine months after having a baby. This made international news, not because of the incredible accomplishment; but because she was irresponsible exercising while pregnant. She is a professional runner who was under a doctors care. She has a beautiful healthy baby girl. I don't understand why a women who just won a major marathon is under fire when there is no indication her baby was endangered at any point. Paula I hope you are celebrating your amazing victory. Congratulations! ~ d ~ November 09 Dieting again...So I decided there is no end in sight for complete stress, so waiting for things to cool down to go on a diet is just a bad decision.
If i don't lose weight, there could be some major health concerns in my future.
One of the main reasons I was waiting for less stress was because I had success wiht the south beach diet last time. It is just way to much for me to manage right now, you have to put thought and foward planning into the entire diet. After some research I decided to use Weight Watchers, the point system is so flexible. Also, it is so widely used that it is easy to find food that is prepared and already tells you how many points it is worth.
Any way, day 2 and so far so good :)
~ D ~ November 08 I am here...I know you all that i was gone for good. Here I am.
I just have a hard time blogging when all I have to say is "stress, stress and more strss".
However my Thanksgiving resolution is too actually blog :)
Happy Browsing
~ D ~ August 31 Proud bike owner
I went on vacation with the kids a couple weeks ago. While there we rode our bikes (mine borrowed from the place we stayed), and had a great time. I have been eyeing bikes ever since, and ventured out today to look at the store. After lots of deliberation I had narrowed my search down to two bikes, and through the advice of an avid rider, got it down to one. I braved 4 different bike stores with the kids, and finally ended up back at the one I had started. After trying out a couple different ones, I ended up with a different one then I set out to buy. ~ D ~ August 29 Vote for the butterflyGood afternoon!
As many of you know I work on MSN. There is a poll out about for the best company icon. MSN is included in the poll, so vote!
http://advertising.yahoo.com/advertisingweek_07/icon_poll.html Hopefully for the butterfly, or as Winnie the Pooh would say the "flutterby" :) Debbie August 05 Dating saga...I titled this post dating saga, not sure why since you actually have to go on a date to be considered "dating". Really, my life has been way to boring (read depressing as heck) to post about lately. The dating front is the only humor in it :)
Here is the sum total of my post divorce dating history so far:
WebGuy#1 - nice guy, chat for a while, find out we work at the same place. He stops talking to me suddenly, finally I figure out why. He lied about living in the US on his profile.
Lesson Learned: Guys still lie!
WebGuy #2 - Talk a while, finally display my picture for him. Never hear from him again. This is actually a relief, his intelligence and conversational skills were already in doubt.
Lessson Learned: Display picture in profile by default (even if the guys don't), despite the fact I look like a blown up version of my self.
WebGuy #3 - Guilt here. Missed in his profile that he was in a wheelchair. There is no way a person in a wheel chair could handle the kids. I know that sounds terrible, but when they get out of control there is no way.
Lesson learned: READ the profiles completely before you hurt someone else’s feelings.
In person guy #1 and #2 - As soon as they find out I have kids, just want physical relationship. The thing is, everything about me screams mommy.
Lesson Learned: Guys hormones never change!
All this and still not one date :) I am thinking about giving it up as a lost cause.
~ D ~ August 02 The NineI hate it when the start shows and then end them just as you begin to enjoy them.
Anyways, one of my fall favorites is back...
~d~
P.s. you don't want to hear about the rest. depressing. July 06 blah...I have not had much to say lately. Life is way too overwhelming. What else is new?
Placed in two more poker tournaments. Bummed that WSOP (World Series of Poker) is only on pay per view. Oh well, this wonderful thing called the web will give me results. I am sure the 2007 World Series of Poker will be coming to ESPN or ESPN2 soon.
Nanny is working out very well. The kids love her. I think we are driving her insane, mis-behaved kids, messy house, dogs, etc. Poor girl.
~ D ~ June 12 Not so funWell things have not been very fun lately (starting last Thursday). One of my close friends sister died un-expectedly, which was quite shocking.
My step-daughter is up to some of her old tricks, which is causing a great deal of stress. Why does this cause me stress? Way too long and involved, trust me it does.
My nephew left for the Marines.
The dogs got out, and I ran after them for a long time over the weekend.
The house just won't stay clean. I can get the kids to help me get it to a decent state, and then they trash it w/in hours.
It is time to do annual work reviews, and of course they need to be done NOW.
My lawn desperately needs to be mowed, but my allergies are already too insane to add to it.
I will end it on a positive note. The summer nanny started today. I am very optimistic that she will work out great.
~ d ~
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